Sex Nostalgia On The Rise Amongst Women - Tracey Cox On 'Green Grass' Syndrome
A total of 38% of women polled admitted that they had the best sex of lives in a previous relationship – rather than with their current lover. Just 29% of men – a far lower figure – said their best sex was with an ex. The poll suggests that more women suffer from ‘green grass syndrome’ than men – where they compare their current partner unfavourably with a former lover.
The responses from both sexes suggest that sex gets better with age and that casual sex is no match for ‘committed lovemaking.’ Both men and women are in agreement that what makes the best sex is ‘love’ and ‘passion.’
But where the responses differ are in the levels of sexual satisfaction with their current partners. Women appear to more sexually assertive – and far more ready to admit to dissastisfaction with their current lover.
One possible reason for women’s greater assertiveness is the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ phenomenon. Experts say women have read the book over the summer and are increasingly reluctant to settle for second best in the bedroom.
Sex toy retailer Lovehoney polled 1,100 men and women and asked who they had their best sex of their life with. The results were:
- - 62% of women and 71% of men said their best sex was with their current partner;
- - 17% of women and 12% of men said it was with an ex-partner;
- - 7% of both women and men named their first love as their best lover;
- - 7% of women and 4% of men said a friend was their best lover;
- - 4% of women and 3% said their best sex was a one night stand.
- - Just 1% of men and women name a holiday fling as their best sex.
Lovehoney also asked respondents: what made it the best sex of your life? Love was the most important reason with 44% of women and 41% of men. Feeling confident (39%) was far important to women than it was to men (28%). Novelty was much more important to men, with 26% listing doing something they never usually do, such as experimenting with light bondage, as a reason for the best sex of their lives compared to 17% of women.
Women care more about the quality of their orgasm – 40% compared to 28% of men. Sex toys are much more important to men (25%) than women (14%) . Some 9% of women and 11% of men were turned on by the risk of being caught.
Sex expert Tracey Cox said: “The ‘grass is greener’ sexual syndrome isn’t new. Women don’t tend to marry the guy they had great sex with. They marry for more ‘sensible’ attributes - like whether he’ll be loyal and a good father. I get lots of emails from women saying they love their husbands but fantasise about sex with their exes. They don’t regret not choosing them as long-term mates, but they do miss the great sex they had.”
Tracey, who has her own range with Lovehoney, said the survey shows that couple are becoming more sexually adventurous.
She said: "I find these results incredibly encouraging with 62% of women and 71% of men saying their best sex was with their current partner. That means we’re becoming more explorative, communicating our needs better and generally enjoying sex more.
"Books like Fifty Shades of Grey help create a healthy sexual environment where women realise to have good sex, you need novelty and ‘edge’. It’s not all about sex on Saturday night in the missionary position!”
Bath-based www.lovehoney.co.uk accounts for 36% of all sex toys sold online in the UK.
Sales are currently up 60% year on year - with Fifty Shades of Grey a key factor in the surge in demand.